Script for Sale how much? $10000

 Certainly! Here's a full, detailed satirical script for *Resident Asylum: Eat a Takeout, I’m in a Wheelchair or Heat Your Bedroom Tax*. It features multiple characters, humorous dialogues, and a playful tone throughout.

---

**Title:** Resident Asylum: Eat a Takeout, I’m in a Wheelchair or Heat Your Bedroom Tax

---

**Scene 1: Government Office**

*(A cluttered office with an Irish flag and a poster: “Welcome to Resident Asylum.” The *Government Official* sits behind a desk, looking stern but amused. The *Citizen* enters hesitantly.)*

**Government Official:**  

(cheerfully sarcastic)  

Ah, welcome! You’ve found the heart of Ireland’s finest policies—where common sense takes a holiday. How can I help you today?

**Citizen:**  

(uncertain)  

Well, I heard I might have to live in a cold house, eat takeouts just to survive, and pay extra taxes for sleeping in my own bed. Is that true?

**Government Official:**  

(laughs softly)  

Oh, you’ve heard right! Here at Resident Asylum, we’ve revolutionized how to manage a country. If your house isn’t warm enough, we suggest you *use a takeaway container as a heater*. It’s environmentally friendly—and delicious!

**Citizen:**  

Wait, you’re serious? That’s… that’s crazy.

*(Enter *Minister of Inefficiency*, a pompous figure with a loud tie and a smug grin.)*

---

**Minister of Inefficiency:**  

(grandly)  

Did someone say crazy? We prefer *innovative*. Why pay for heating when you can pay *us* for the privilege of being cold? It’s a new Irish tradition—embracing the chill!

**Citizen:**  

And the bedroom tax? Why am I taxed for my own bedroom?

**Minister of Inefficiency:**  

Because! If you’ve got a *spare bedroom*, you’re *wasting space*—and money. We’re just *encouraging* you to downsize. Think of it as a gentle nudge to live closer to your neighbor… or the tax collector.

---

**Scene 2: Citizen’s home, showing the cold, dimly lit room**

*(The Citizen shivers, holding a half-eaten takeout container, staring at a cold radiator.)*

**Citizen:**  

So, I’m supposed to eat more takeouts, freeze in my own home, and pay more taxes? Is this some kind of joke?

*(Enter *Local Councillor*, a slick, smiling figure with a clipboard.)*

**Local Councillor:**  

(grinning)  

No joke, just a new way to save *your* money! Plus, the takeout keeps the delivery drivers employed. We’re all in this together!

**Citizen:**  

And what about healthcare, education? Are those still a thing?

**Local Councillor:**  

(shrugs)  

Well, those are *luxuries*. But don’t worry—we’re working on a new plan: *taxing happiness*. Stay tuned!

---

**Scene 3: Office of the Minister of Incompetence, later that day**

*(The Minister stands beside a chart labeled “Policy Failures & Achievements.”)*

**Minister of Incompetence:**  

(boastfully)  

You see, folks, we’ve successfully *rebranded* austerity as *progress*. Our new slogan? “Less is more, especially when it’s your comfort!”

*(A government aide whispers to the Minister)*

**Aide:**  

Sir, the citizens are upset.

**Minister of Incompetence:**  

(smiling wider)  

Good! That means we’re doing our job. Keep the chaos coming!

---

**Scene 4: A town hall meeting, with citizens protesting**

*(Citizens hold signs: “Heat Our Homes!” “Stop the Bedroom Tax!” “Eat Real Food!”)*

**Citizen 2:**  

(shouting)  

This is madness! We need proper heating, healthcare, and decent living conditions!

**Official Spokesperson:**  

(off-stage, voice amplified)  

Your complaints are noted. Please enjoy your cold takeout and remember—taxes keep Ireland running!

---

**Scene 5: The Government Office, final scene**

*(The *Government Official* addresses the camera, with a resigned smile.)*

**Government Official:**  

In Ireland, we believe in a bright future—bright in the sense that it’s lit by the glow of your frozen homes and empty wallets. But don’t worry! We’re always working on new ways to make life *more interesting*. Welcome to Resident Asylum!

*(The camera zooms out as the official laughs artificially, the Irish flag waving in the background.)*

---

**End.**

---

Would you like me to add a narrator’s closing remarks, or turn this into a screenplay with scene descriptions and directions?